Stuck in my head…

You know how they say if you have a song stuck in your head, the best way to get rid of it is to listen to it all the way through.  Well, this song has been stuck in my head for like 2 days.  I am not sure I want it out of my head.  It is so good.  These guys are so talented.  But I will share it anyway.

There is so much truth in this song.  I hope it speaks to your heart in some way.

 

also one of the band guys has a really great blog you can check out here:  http://mikedonehey.tumblr.com/

and their wives are pretty legit too:  http://agirlikeme.com/

Everything Beautiful

Sometimes I read things and they just strike a chord.  This morning I opened up to Psalm 104. I have read it before but hadn’t really paid it much thought.  Today it was a huge blessing to me.

God made everything.  But do you ever stop and think about that.  He not only made it, He sustains it, continually provides for it.  Creation is not exactly the same as the first day it was brought to being.  It cycles, constantly renewing itself moment by moment.

Everything on earth is His.  He commands it all and provides for everything.  There is always enough.  Even more than enough.  There is always plenty.

God is not efficient.  He is generous and abundant.  He doesn’t make the most of what He has, because He has it all.  Therefore, He does whatever He wants with it.  He doesn’t need to be resourceful because He is the source.  He doesn’t need to conserve because He is endless, eternal. All things come from Him because He is everything.

The passage talks about how He provides us crops for food, and he provides the crops with water.  He takes care of all of our needs.  Not just our needs, but the needs of all of His creation.

However, not everything has a specific purpose.  He makes grain for bread, oil for food, and flowers for beauty.  They are not an after thought just created out of the leftovers of His creation.  They are specifically designed and planned for by the Creator of the Universe.

Why?

Because He wanted to.  Because it gives Him pleasure.  Because He does what He wants (and it is good).

That is the God I serve.  That is who is providing for me.

Think about it.  The earth is God’s kingdom.  He created Heaven and earth, and He occupies them both.

If it was compared to a dwelling place, it is not a stark, bare studio apartment.  God is not a minimalist.  He does not conserve His resources.  He does not hold out on us, or save the best for just Himself.

I am glad that God is not like me.  I am a minimalist.  I hate extra.  If I were there when He was creating the world I probably would have been the girl in the back saying “Do you really need that?”  Don’t go overboard!” “Those humans don’t deserve that stuff, they don’t take care of anything.”

But He doesn’t care.  He is generous, abundant, willing to provide more than we can ever ask or imagine (or deserve).

This is my God.

Remember His character.

He does not withhold anything.  Or keep it all to himself.  He could easily create a beautiful heaven and leave the earth to its own brokenness and filth.  But He doesn’t.  He gives us glimpses of His beauty and mercy.

Why?

Because He is beautiful.  He loves beauty.  AND He loves us.  He wants to experience all of that together.  He wants to dwell here among us.

This isn’t some hippy, love nature, be green type of post.  Yes, we should take care of the earth.  But that’s not the point I am trying to make.  God cares about His creation, but He cares infinitely more about us.  He made everything for His own glory, but to share with His children.

Creation is not just about physical, natural beauty.  It is an example to the life He wants us to have with Him.  God values to beauty of living.  Life is only beautiful if it’s lived with Him.

Ecclesiates 3:11 “He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.”

John 10:10 “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”

Psalm 104:15

Spring is coming

There are 2 things I am really looking forward to: being back at NIU aaaaand Reading for fun!

I am a nerd!  I like reading.  Its getting to be beautiful outside and my favorite thing to do is sit in a sunny spot and read.  And to make matters worse, my reading of choice is young adult fiction.  

Seriously, I am 25 going on 12.

I stopped by the library today and let myself drift over to the young adult section.  I have no time to read… and if I do, I have plenty of nonfiction books I need to read.  But I just wanted to look.

There are so many that looked good!  I think it was mostly because I know that I can’t.  If I were actually looking for one I know I wouldn’t have found a thing….

Anyone else experience this? Like in every situation.  If I go shopping for jeans, all I find is tops.  If I am in the mood to watch a movie, there is nothing good at Redbox.  When there are a ton of great movies in theaters, I have no money.  If I NEED chocolate, there isn’t a bit of sugar in the house.  It is a rule of the universe… It loves taunting me. 

So, I did check out a book.  It just made me feel better.  Even though I know I won’t read it.  I can dream right?!

Other reasons why today was a good day:

• Early morning walk with a good friend
• Mocha Monday at the Library (free coffee for patrons on Mondays)
• Sun
• My boyfriends comfy Tshirt
• unexpected phone calls

Spring is coming!

God is still faithful.  He knows the days that I need little blessings and encouragement.  He delights in meeting our needs.

2 Timothy 2:11,12,13

“If we died with Him we will also live with him.  If we endure, we will also reign with Him… if we are faithless, he will remain faithful.”

 

The blessing of Strangers

Today, I was sitting in a coffee shop working.  I was making phone calls and sending emails and all sorts of other stuff.  I had been there for a few hours, and probably should have stayed for a few more.  However, I decided for the sake of my sanity I would head home.

Just as I was putting away my lap top, I caught a bit of the conversation the 2 ladies next to me were having.  Unfortunately, people watching and eavesdropping are 2 of my favorite pastimes.  I know that it is technically not socially acceptable, but lets be honest people… you know you do it too.

The 2 ladies turned out to be mother and daughter.  The daughter was mentioning that she was going to be participating in the “Great Awakening” conference soon.  Now I have never done one of these conferences, and I am not exactly sure what it entails.  It is a retreat that some friends of mine have participated in before.  From the way they talk, it is a wonderful time to get away and be with the Lord.

After a few discouraging phone calls, it was really exciting to find out there were fellow Christians nearby. I am typically the type of person that keeps to myself.  A polite nod or hello and I am back to my own reading.  For better or worse, I do not really like having conversations with strangers in public.

Without having time to change my mind, I chimed in.  She told me that she was really excited to experience her first Christian retreat.  This was a woman who was my mom’s age at least.  She has been a self proclaimed Atheist since college.

She was so open in sharing with me, a nosy stranger, about how the Lord had captured her attention and relentlessly pursued her.  It was so cool to see her excitement in what Jesus had done for her.  Looking back she could see God’s hand on her life, even when she was blatantly denying His existence.

Just because we decide something is “true”, does not change who God is. Just because we decided God can’t do something, or we won’t let Him have His way in our lives, does not in anyway affect God’s ability to make it happen.  He is sovereign even in our rebellion and unbelief.  Nothing will stop God from being who He is.  and that is sovereign, powerful, just, loving, gracious, and merciful.

Christ changes people.  We can’t change ourselves, but Christ can… and does. He is real,  He is living and active.

Not just in church.

Not just as kids.

Not just in Cru.

Not just when you have kids.

Not just when you are pursuing Him.

Not just when you are being faithful. Always.

Thank you for saving sinners like me.  Thank you for broken but redeemed sisters in Christ.  Thank you for hope.

^” But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

Stop and smell the roses

One of my favorite things in the world is to take walks.  I can walk like it’s my job.  Many people have asked me if I run… nope!  I walk.  There is a huge difference.  Like for instance…

Walking:

easy going, relaxing.  Good for taking in the scenery.  It lends itself to catching up with old friends(perfect socializing activity!)  Gives you a chance to think and breath.

Running:

It hurts.  You get sweaty.  You can’t breath.  You can’t think because you are trying to remember to breath.  It’s torture.  You hate yourself for doing it, and then you hate yourself because you can’t.  lol

(This might just be my experience… so I am not speaking for everyone here)

To be honest, I would love to love running.  I want to be a runner…. But I am not.  I give up hope.  So I might harbor some bitterness towards people who can run.  Whatever… it sucks.  That’s what I will tell myself.

However, figuratively, in life I have realized I rarely walk.  

I am a firm believer that life is made up of extremes.  I either lean way too far one way or way to far the other.  Perfect balance is what I aim for, but the reality of humanity is we can never sit comfortably in the middle.  We keep missing it.  And we won’t find that perfect balance in this life.  Because we are human.

So like I said, in life, figuratively speaking, I have 2 speeds… I either run, or I sit.  That’s it.  No happy medium.

In Ephesians 5, Paul says that we should be imitators of Christ and that we should walk in the love of Christ.  Yes, he said walk.  Not run, and not sit, even though there is a time and a place for each one of those things.  But he uses walk for a specific reason.

How often in your normal life do you need to run.  Not often.  But we walk daily.  Walking is steady and consistent.  Everyone can walk.  Some people might take long, sure steps.  Some might take short, quick steps.  Some might walk straight, others might wander.  But we all get there.  

Side note: Have you ever noticed how unique each person’s walk is.  I worked in an office once, and I could tell without even looking up which one of my co-workers were walking by.  It’s one foot in front of the other, but everyone does it a little differently.

Anywho, I really appreciate that Paul gives us permission to walk in life.  Everyone walks.  If I had to run all the time, I would never get there.  If all I did was sit, I am pretty sure I would never get anywhere either.  But as Christians we get to walk.  Steady and sure, right behind the Father.

We get to breath.  We get to enjoy the journey with Him.  We get to take in our surroundings.  We get to spend quality time with Him.  He knows exactly where we are going and He is in no hurry to get there.  After all, we aren’t going to miss anything.  The party can’t start until the Host arrives, and He will get us there when He is good and ready.  

So for now, I am going to try and stop running.  I am so eager to get to the next phase of life.  I feel like the amount of time it takes me to get there is a reflection of my character.  Like God is timing me and rating my worth by how quick and efficient I am.  This is exactly opposite of the Gospel.  The whole point is that I can’t get things right no matter how hard I try.  God is going to do it, on His time and not mine.  Running and striving won’t get me there any quicker, It will just frustrate you.  Kinda like a hamster on a wheel. 

From now on, I am going to follow the Lord.   I will go at His pace, and I will submit to His authority and timing.  I will trust that He will get me to wherever it is I am going.  And if he has some detours on the way… well, who am I to pass up another opportunity to experience something the Lord has brought along.  Even if it isn’t in my itinerary. 

At the end of the road, if I don’t know God more intimately then it was all for nothing. 

Lord, take my hand and set the pace.

Un{ideal}istic expectations

So confession time… I am an idealist. Actually I am a wierd combination of idealist and realist. Don’t ask me how that works, but somehow they both co exist somewhere deep in my soul. I have these grand unrealistic expectations. These huge ideas of how I want things to go and how I want them to feel. Its more of a large scale feeling, than nitty gritty little details. In the end I realize that I have no idea how to make these big idealistic dreams a reality, so I just give up and let life happen. Idealist meet realist. Lets hang out in the coffee shop of apathy where frustrated, disappointed, and anxious people go to distract themselves with insane amounts of coffee. Coffee solves everything.
Well, heck with it. Yesterday was my birthday. The big 2-5! and you know what I did to celebrate… not a whole lot.
I am not a huge fan of birthdays. I don’t hate them, I just don’t see think they are a huge deal. Just another day. I don’t plan it for weeks, or wake up and tell the world that I am another day older. It could be that through out the years birthdays just havent turned out to be anything hugely earth shattering.
I woke up perfectly content to have a normal, low key day. No big fuss. But the further into the day I got, the more bummed I became. I was doing exactly what I had planned, yet all these lies kept whispering to me. If I were loved then people would pay more attention… If I were cool, I would have planned a big birthday bash… No one really cares that its your birthday. My discontentment got the best of me.
Then the pity party set in….
Then I got upset that I was letting myself be upset….
Basically it was a big mess.
In a brief moment of rational thought, I tried to figure out why the day was so upsetting. And this is what I came up with…
I got a ton of texts and facebook messages from my friends.
I got to see my wonderful grandparents.
I recieved some very encouraging cards in the mail.
I got a few unexpected phone calls from family.
I had some really productive appointments for my new job.
My parents made plans to make my birthday a little more special.
and I got to spend a whole weekend with some of my favorite people.
So as you can see, it was really awful!
Honeslty, the day was business as usual. Nothin hugely out of the ordinary happened. So the conclusion I came to was that my life is so blessed that I don’t need huge, exciting plans for any day in particular.
I love the life I am blessed with. I can’t get so caught up in the big picture, that I don’t enjoy what is right in front of me. Because that would be tragic. To miss out on all life’s little joys, because you have your eyes on the huge hypothetical ideals would be to miss life altogether. Life is the sum of all the little moments. I can’t live in the “one days” or the “if onlys”. I want to soak up all the little “right nows”.
I have had 25 years of wonderful, everyday moments… and I can’t wait for years and years of more ordinary days.
Sometimes reality is more ideal than you think.