Beauty in Brokenness

"He has made everything Beautiful in it's time." Eccl. 3:11

Clueless like a sheep

on August 13, 2014

I wrote this a while ago in the middle of summer when I had literally no direction.  Sometimes I still feel exactly like this.  Even as I approach the busyness of a new semester, with lots of goals and objectives, I still feel like I am just wandering with one foot in front of the other, waiting to see what’s next.  

 

Lately, I feel like a sheep.  It might sound weird, but I really do.

Sheep are dumb and completely clueless.  Sheep are shallow.  They definitely are not the apes or dolphins of the animal kingdom.  Seriously, sheep will walk themselves right off a cliff if you let them.  

Thats why sheep need a shepherd.  They are dumb.  You have to baby them a little. 

As I was bumming around my house today I literally had this thought… “I am a sheep.”

Out of nowhere.  

But it was probably one of the most accurate, and random, thoughts I have had in awhile.  Maybe it should have made me feel bad or ashamed.  But honestly, it brought a lot of relief.  I finally was able to define how I had been feeling for awhile.

I feel kinda stuck. And a little thick in the head.  Like there is definitely stuff going on, even big stuff, but I just do not have to capacity to process it.  

I have no direction, no conviction.  I am just wandering through this all.  Like a dumb sheep.

There is a direction I need to be going, and places that I really need to get to.  But in this moment I am at a loss. Just going along with the flow.  Living and surviving.  Hoping that it all turns out.  

And ya know what… That is kind of ok.

I am a dumb sheep.  I can’t do things on my own.  I have no ability to make anything go the way I want it to.  Let to my own devices, I will just wander around getting myself in trouble.  Because I do not have a grasp of the big picture.  I have no idea where I am actually heading.

But that is why I have a shepherd.  He has it covered.  He will watch over me and take care of me.  He will not let me stray. And if I do, He will come get me.

The pressure to have it all figured out is overwhelming.  The knowledge that I can in no way figure it all out is freeing.  I can just be along for the ride.  

So here I am, trusting my shepherd.

And the great thing is that shepherds do not expect a sheep to be anything other than a sheep.  He knows what He is getting himself into.  And He is upto the challenge.  

God does not ask me to get it together.  He does not expect me to be any less clueless or more capable than He made me to be.

He is my shepherd.  He leads me beside still waters.  He restores my soul.

 

Psalm 23

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: