Beauty in Brokenness

"He has made everything Beautiful in it's time." Eccl. 3:11

One foot in front of the Other

on May 3, 2013

It is kinda awful/pathetic/scary funny how you can do the same thing and get the same results but be doing them for completely different reasons.  It looks that same and sounds the same, but are about as different as different can be.

and to be clear when I say that they are the same actions… thats not really accurate either. Because the motivation for something completely shapes what it is you are doing.

We so easily forget things.  It’s a gradual process.  Then all of a sudden one day, we stop and think “How did I get here?” “When did things change?” But the most frustrating question is “How did I not notice?”

I guess there is probably some need to clarify here, for people who aren’t in my head.  (Am I the only one who forgets on a regular basis if I have actually communicated something, or if I really just thought it?  Like seriously, there have been times that I am convinced that I have said something out loud, but everyone else in my life is completely in the dark.  No not little “I won’t be home for dinner” details, but like significant “I’m moving out next week” type of details.)

Anywho, there are points in life where you really feel a passion for something.  You know exactly what you want out of life, exactly what is most important.  At that point, you have to take a leap of faith and jump in.  This is where you go from dreaming to living.  These are huge points of faith and trust in your walk with the Lord.  Its so fulfilling, hopeful, and exciting.  You know without a doubt that this is the path you were meant for.

But then reality sets in.  You think the initial leap of faith is gonna be the hard part and the rest should all fall into place.  But that isn’t how life works.  We seem to forget that there is a natural order to things.  We do not just decide to make a change.  We have to actually make it happen.

This is where everything gets blurry.

The excitement starts to wear off.  You realize that to get to the stuff you are passionate about you have to do a whole lot of things you aren’t very passionate about.  It’s called being faithful.  For me this is making phone calls, writing letters, studying, making more phone calls, and other stuff that aren’t on the top of my favorite things list.  You have to do a lot of things you aren’t passionate about to do the things you are passionate about.  When the percentage of time you spend doing the not fun stuff, exceeds the percent doing the fun stuff you begin to forget what its all about.  It is hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel.  When you aren’t yet seeing any fruit, it’s easy to think that there will never be any.

Thank the Lord that is not true!

I got an attitude check today.  I have fooled myself into thinking that what I am doing now is just the means to the end.  That being faithful now is just doing the work and going through the motions.

That is not how its supposed to be.  If you are faithful with a little, then you will be faithful with much.  You can’t seperate the journey from the destination.  They go together.  To think that you can just check out until you get to your goal makes no sense.  If you can’t trust God and be faithful in the mundane stuff, how can you expect to do so in the crazy stuff.

To make it short and sweet… God is worth it, Jesus is worth it.  If I remember that, then there will be meaning in everything I do.  from Emails to phone calls to leading a biblestudy with women at school.  It is all a part of the calling.  There is nothing that is of lesser importance, because it is all part of the mission that God has designed.  No part of the process is irrelevant because the Lord set it all in place for a reason.  Some of it is for those I will be ministering to, some is just for me, but all of it is for the Glory of God.

No stage of life that God brings us through is boring.  If we are feeling a lack of joy or passion or purpose, that just means that we (or I) aren’t seeing it the way God does.  If I pick and choose whether I want to fully engage in his plans for me or check out and go through the motions, I am choosing to miss out on an awesome opportunity to experience the Lord’s hand in my life.  There is never a moment when He is less worthy or praise or pursuit.

Thanks the Lord that He never changes.  He is not effected by my attitude or my view of Him.  He is always good, always awesome, and always working out His glorious plan.

When I am faithless, He is faithful.

The beauty of it is that He never moves on without us.  He never leaves us behind.  We can engage with Him whenever we choose.  He does not change.  And He is always willing to change us.


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